Kate Weinberg has a delightful story about pugs at the Telegraph:
"Owners who think their pugs are humans are completely delusional," says Polly Devlin, author, broadcaster and Columbia University professor. She pauses, before adding: "But then so are the ones who think their pugs are dogs."
Oh? So if they are neither little people or dogs… "They have fallen out of Superman's capsule on the way to Planet Krypton where bad radio beams have scrambled the message of what dogs are supposed to be like," says Polly. "Their eyes hang out of their heads and have to be frequently stitched back in and they can barely breathe. And have you observed a pug walk? They do it in segments. As for loyalty or affection, it can only be roused if they think food is coming their way. Pugs have no inner goodness at all."
So she doesn't adore Archie? "Of course I adore him, but very warily, as you would do with something that is not of this planet. It is all part of a plan from Krypton. Archie is a ticking time bomb. Any moment now he will explode and we will all turn into pugs." Pugs have never been more popular and Britain's Pug Dog Club has more than 1,600 members. London-based owners hold monthly get-togethers in Green Park and, once a year, aristocratic pug-lovers take turns to stage a garden party. It is a Henley regatta for the breed, an afternoon of picnics and games that climaxes in a fancy-dress parade. "Owners will spend all year creating an outfit in complete secret," says club secretary Adele Nicholson. Just before the parade, the owners disappear into the bushes to put on their dog's costume. "Ballerinas are always popular," Nicholson notes.
Pugs are the work of the devil. My mom acquired one during the last several years of her life. It had asthma, and you haven't lived until you've seen an asthma attack experienced by something that doesn't have a nose to start with. Then one night, while I was visiting for Christmas, the dog, which was sitting in my stepfather's lap, made a noise like two alien face-suckers making out, its eyes turned red, and it voided itself on my stepfather. It was later determined that we had just witnessed the first epileptic seizure I've ever seen in a dog. My mother, who loved the little freak more than life itself, and who thought it was dying, nearly had one herself.
ReplyDeleteI eventually concluded that my mother was so crazy about the pug because it was the dog, and maybe the kid, she'd always wanted--a portable life form that was completely dependent on her for its continued survival. Unlike every other dog we'd ever had (and living on a cattle farm, we'd had a lot of them, some of which just showed up one day and reported for duty), not to mention me and my sister, it was in no position to do anything but take what was offered to it and dole out the grateful looks. It wouldn't have lasted two minutes on its own, being small, freaky-looking, impractically constructed, unable to breath, and wheezing so noisily most of the time that it didn't even have the option of hiding in the bushes from any of the other animals that would have loved to have kicked its ass just on general principles.
After my stepfather became ill, I did finally convince myself that the pug would finally earn its keep after his death, because at least then my mother wouldn't have to grieve alone. Naturally, a couple of days after my stepfather did pass on, damned if the dog didn't drop dead. But at least now I do have something to be grateful for: thank God my mom never knew that she was supposed to be dressing it up in a ballerina costume.
you suck and know nothing about pug love
ReplyDeleteIt is very obvious that the people writing this article know nothing about dogs, never mind pugs!!!
ReplyDeleteWhy write about something you know nothing about?
Is this what the telegraph and indeed media has had to resort to?
Think they need to find some real staff, who know what they are writing about!!
I can't imagine that anyone who has ever spent any time with a pug could honestly say that pugs have no 'inner goodness' and only show affection if food is coming their way. Pugs are easily the most loyal and affectionate dogs I've ever encountered. They're the most comical, entertaining, and unique dogs around, just hilarious, loving little beasts.
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