Envy

If you didn't read it when it was first published in Granta, do go now and take a look at Kathryn Chetkovich's painfully brilliant essay "Envy" (about her relationship with a never-named successful writer who is actually Jonathan Franzen). I was reminded of it by a book I'm reviewing which treats similar issues, went back just now and re-read and it is stomach-wrenchingly good. Oh, I feel so grateful that I have been fortunate both in my life & my temperament so I am almost entirely spared this soul-corroding emotion, when I do get a shot of it now and then it is absolutely the most horrible thing in the world (because you are ashamed of yourself as well as feeling awful in the first place).